A passion has to be discovered
May 9, 2010
News Herald – Juliann Talkington
We all want our children to find their passions and live happy, fulfilled lives. However, it is difficult to know how to help our kids find and follow their dreams.
According to a three-part study led by Geneviève Mageau, a psychology professor at the Université de Montréal in Canada, parental control can predict whether a child develops a harmonious or obsessive passion for an activity. According to this study, children are more likely to pursue pastimes when given an opportunity to pick and nurture their own passions.
However, complete freedom is not good for a child either. Harvard trained psychologist John Martin and University of California psychology professor Diane Baumrind suggest parents should make a child feel accepted, loved, valued and supported, but should also be firm about expectations and limits.
On top of the psychological issues, parents should consider the employment realities of the 21st Century. Bob Compton, executive producer of 2 Million Minutes and education advocate, says young people need different skills today than kids did 20 years ago. He argues that children need a broad intellectual foundation as well as skills in creativity, inventiveness, collaboration and critical thinking. Then, because technology changes so quickly, they need a zeal for continuous learning.
So rather than encouraging a child to find a passion early in life, education expert Carol Fertig suggests, “Adults should expose kids to a wide variety of experiences, and realize that youngsters may develop interests that are quite different from those enjoyed by the rest of the family.”
As children explore, they may be passionate about one thing and a few months later want to move on to something else. This is a good thing and should be encouraged as long as parents set guidelines about when a transition is acceptable. For example, quitting soccer in the middle of the season doesn’t send the right signals about commitment and follow through. However, encouraging a reevaluation at the end of the season is wise and allows a child the freedom to explore different things.
Most importantly, parents need to nudge kids without pressuring them. They need to take pride and show support, without trying to live vicariously through their children – a tough balancing act.
Remember, a passion has to be discovered. It cannot be enforced. A child needs a broad intellectual foundation, a supportive environment and the freedom to explore and find his/her passion him/herself.
Fantastic article. Great guidelines along with words of encouragement and insight.
Comment by LeeAnn Kozan — May 10, 2010 @ 9:58 am